Great food .. Great friends .. A glass of wine and marshmallows

You know how they say when It rains It pours. Well there right. This past two months has been really rough. Between fighting to save Sages school and my hubby losing his Job, I thought I was going crazy. Well If I wasnt then I sure am now. David found a lump by his scar where he had his last hernia operation. It looks like hes got another hernia and might need another surgery. Are you frickin KIDDING ME!! He just had a Job Interview this weekend and things were looking like they were about to turn a corner. This changes everything. Now who knows how hes going to recoup from this surgery, or If he'll be able to even go back to work again at all. Not to mention the fact that after his surgery , we'll lose his unemployment! To say that Im stressed Is an understatement.
On a good note, Ive been very blessed to have such amazing friends!! My girl Bridget has been nothing short of totally FABULOUS to our family. We went to school together along time ago and hadnt talked In years. Then just recently got back In touch and ever since shes been a light at the end of my tunnel. Between driving me places and helping me with food pantries. To just being a wonderful listner when Im really stressing out. Shes pregnant and Lil Aiden will be coming very soon and I cant wait to be able to hold him and return the favor by helping her watch him!! I dont know what Id do without her In my Life!! I just have to take everything day by day and keep my faith In my friends and God!!

This has been a very emotional week. Between my normal PTA stuff which was easy and fun, but now seems to make me tear up every time I see those kids. Wednesday was the Board Of Education Meeting. It was horrible. Almost all of them said to close our School. All except Mr Duncan! I kinda lost my temper at one point when Mr Wilson had the nerve to say that Smith School wasnt a community School. That really ticked me Off , I live right around the corner, as do many many others In my Neighborhood! This Is going to be a short Blog because Im just drained of emotion right now. I shoulda wrote earlier this week like right after the meeting. I woulda had alot more to say then. All I know Is that Im not done fighting for our School!!

So I went on a lil bit of a Rant on my Facebook .. About how our lovely School Board wants to close schools In out district and apparently the neighbouring District as well. Not Just any school but our Elementary schools!! I think this Is totally Ridiculous and assanine! It makes me sick at the thought of ANY of our schools being closed , let alone our Elementary Schools. They close one school thats approx 200 something kids that will now have to be spread out amongst the remaining Elementary Schools. Which displaces Families .. Disrupts Kids lives and There Parents lives!! Not to mention the fact that Its going to cause a HELL of alot of overcrowding which leads to Teachers not being able to teach as well as they could with fewer children In each class. Which means the kids are not all learning as well as they could be learning but WHO CARES!! Thats what our District Is telling us.. Who cares that OUR children arent going to learn as well ... who cares If OUR children are totally thrown out of there element cause you want to hire 4 assistants and hire assistants for your frickin assistants and spen OUR tax dollars so you can sit on your ass and point fingers while the rest of us are actually WORKING!! Really , you all need to seriously look In the mirror and then Into the faces of OUR CHILDREN and think long and hard about what your about to do!!!!

Angry

Toaday hasnt been a good day. Everything kind hit me all at once and really hard. I woke up very angry!!! Why did this happen to us .. why did this happen now. My allergies were killing me, and my stomach was In total knots. Then I realized.. halfway through the day I was biting off heads and pracitically In tears. This wasnt where we were supposed to be right now. We were supposed to be pulling out of our dark place not falling deeper Into It. Before I could actually see the light at the end of the tunnel, and nowonly darkness. And all of a sudden I got Into an argument and It hit me like a ton of bricks. I was actually HAPPY having him home and spending time with him and I knew that eventually he was going to find work and leave again. I like spending time with him and being altogether like this has been awsome. The money isnt Important .. Status Isnt Important but Family Is everything. I always felt that way but now this Is our new begining and a way to make sure that we no matter what loose sight of that!!
Sage had a pretty cool weekend. We dont celebrate alot of the Holidays but I try to give her pieces of those things because I feel thats Important. So she did a Egg hunt this weekend and she had a blast. She didnt get alot of eggs lol but she did awsome. My Friend gave her some beads and string to make necklaces. Now she wants to make and sell them .. aghhh my little entrepanuer!! The best thing was when she said she was goin to give US her money that she made to help pay bills lol.. I told her that If she makes the money she gets to keep and spend It how she wants!! Im so proud of the young woman shes becoming. Watching her grow everyday just amazes me. <3<3<3>

Happiness

Today was a good day! Alot of things are In place and hopefully they will all work out. I feel like we will be ok. I think my topic for todat should be friends.. Ive had friends before , ones that were fun to hang out with. Get In trouble with and ones that only came around when they needed something. But only few and far between did I have Friends that were actuall .. true blue friends. They say you find out who your friends are when you are down and out and OMG that saying soo came through for me right now. Ever since my friends found out that my Husband got laid off they have done nothing but step up and be there for me In ways I never could have Imagined. Im not used to people being there like this. Like Ive said theres only been like 2 people who have consistently been there for us , till now! We've always had to bounce back primarily on our own without alot of support. So this for me Is all new. But I feel very privledged to have such an amazing group of friends and I only pray that when the time comes. I am In the position to return the Favor!! The other thing I wanna talk about tonight Are my Amazing PTA Moms!! My girls rock my socks! I totally love how they keep me on my toes and make me Laugh so damn hard. I remember a time I made fun of PTA Moms. I swore Id never EVER be a PTA and here I am. The event coordinator of my Daughters schools PTA Lol Go Figure! And wanna know something even crazier I LOVE IT!But now I see just how wrong I truly was.. and How Extremely grateful that I found out now.. Cause I have the most AMAZING friends out of all this..

Staying Positive

Today was a good day. Woke up with a very upset stomach but did what I had too and kept a positive attitude. Made my coffee and snuggled with my hubby, while waiting For My friend and her son to come. Then we sat around and talked for a lil bit while waiting for my sister In law to let us know she was ready. We were taking all our kids to walk on the Walkway on the Hudson. It was soooo beautiful up there today but cold as all getout!! The kids ran and ran and we all talked our girl talk and enjoy the scenery. We went about a lil over halfway and then headed back to our cars. Then me and My Friend and out two kids headed to Vassar College for our Picnic by the pond. We ate our yummy PB&J sammies and watched the kids skip rocks and .. well just be kids. Then we drove over to another part of the college and parked her car and walked over to the art exhibit. I was very pleasently surprised to find how Intrigued and really Into the art our kids were!! They were fascinated and totally Into trying to figure out what the paintings were and what they thought of them from there perspective. Our day ended with my friend driving us home and now me..sitting here thinking. My brain goes back to the reality of our life right now and the horror of the truths as they are coming to light. I wish I didnt have to think bout all this , but If I dont we will yet again be blindsided by the outcomes. The straight truth Is If we dont get unemploymeny ... we will be homeless. No job I find can make enough money to pay rent ... and we only have a month for My husband to find a sustainable Job which Is highly unlikely. So yeah , we'll be homeless with nowhere to go. I feel like a loser cause we can sell the truck and get rid of a few more things but without any money coming In we STILL cant take care of what we need to. What am I supposed to tell my Daughter. We promised her that wed never go through that again. When she was little we got suddenly evicted from our apt because of a bunch of really Jealous people. We ended up living In a hotel room and It was very very hard on my daughter. I dont want to do that to her again. Not to mention that we have 6 cats that are like our children. Right now all we have are prayers. Lots and Lots of prayers. I pray we can get unemployment. I pray we can get a lil foodstamps and I pray for a job for me that'll make up the difference of what he made and what he'll lose ..... Feeling very lost.