End of Summer

So I just got Sages school list and Im soooo excited to go and get what she needs! Am I nuts?? I am actually excited about school shopping!! I also excited to see her grow even more and make new friends. Shes grown so much over the summer alone and shes turned Into such a amazing young lady I couldnt be more proud of her! This new school yrs going to bring alot of really cool new adventures and experiences for Sage! I dont think I'll be joining the PTA this year. Last year was totally amazing ... those woman are amazing and I learned so much I just dont know If I could start all over again. I feel like Id be replacing them and Smith school and thats just not even possible. But I did have alot of fun helping the school and helping doing things who knows!
In a couple of days we will be surprising Sage by taking her to the Dutchess County Fair!!! Even though money Is tight we havent taken her In 2 yrs. Shes been such a good girl this summer and I cant wait to see her face when we get close enough for her to realize were we are going!!! Im going to take alot of pictures that day. Speaking of pictures I cant seem to figure out how to post albums on here! Im still learning how to spiffy this thing up! Well I'll write more as more things pop up!

I seriously hate feeling like this. I feel like my heads going to explode with all the pressure from this dang head cold I got. Im watching this Intresting show about a group of kids who were really Into clothes and spending money. So they went to India to work In sweatshops to see where and how the clothes they loved to buy and wear .. were actually made. Its a very eye opening show to watch these kids realize that there clothes on there back came at a price for someone else to make them. This blog Is just going to be a mish mosh of stuff and thoughts .. nothing very fluid due to my brain not working very well lol. Ughh Its raining out today .. been raining all night and I think Its supposed to rain all week!! I hope not cause we are supposed to surprise Sage by taking her to the Fair this coming weekend. She has no Idea that we are going .. so I cant wait to see her face!! We havent gone In 2 yrs so I cant wait either .. School starts soon .. late but soon and Sage Is excited but nervous. Another new school this yr .. new kids ... new everything but shes a tough cookie and I know she'll be just fine!! O M G Everytime I try to breathe through my nose or blow It I get this IMMENSE pain In my head and the back of my eyes!! God this really sucks and this rain and gloomy weather Isnt helping any. Ok well I dont have much else to say lol so I'll try to write more another time. laters gaters!!!

New Beginnings

Sometimes we do things In our life that we regret more than anything else. Sometimes these things are able to be righted and fixed and others not so much. Im very lucky to have that chance to right the wrongs and start anew!! I feel more then blesssed that I have the man I have and the Family and friends I have to support me along the way. They say you dont know what you have till you lost It .. well I almost lost the every thing that meant EVERYTHING to me. How things got so muddled ... how I got so lost Inside myself I'll never understand. I look back now and I dont know who that person was .. or how I even became her. What I do know Is I'll NEVER be her again!!! Ive gone back to my religion .. Im taking baby steps towards Baptisim. Its going to take awhile but now that I dont have this angry cloud hanging over me I feel more alive and more free than Ive ever felt before!!!! My husband Is the most AMAZING man ever!!! I am more .. BEYOND blessed to have him In my life and for us to be starting over again Is truly .. I know I keep saying It but ITs AMAZING. Somewhere along the line things got so messed up and I think I forgot why I married him .. but now I am more Inlove with him than I was the day I first laid eyes on him!! I feel more alive and whole and present than Ive EVER felt In my life. I was so angry before .. I carried such guilt and hatred towards myself that It eventually consumed me and I became lost In this Immense dark hole. It got so dark and so deep that I didnt even know who I was anymore and I didnt realize how much I had .. left this world. It was like I wasnt alive anymore .. I was so angry at myself that I took my anger out on everyone around me. I wasnt a good mother or wife but now ... thats all changed!! Im back and better than ever!! I have my God .. My husband .. my daughter and my family and friends. What more could I ask for!!!

Well I havent written In awhile. Theres soo much thats been going on here at home. First off ... we lost the fight to save my Daughters school. So now Its summer and Her school sits empty and will continue to sit empty In Sept :( Its been reallly hard on my daughter. She doesnt understand why these things happen but shes strong and I know she'll do really good In her new school! Some of the other things are that my Best Friend got Into a very bad car accident and almost died. That was a very scary time .. seeing her like that was horrible. But now we arent talking so yeah go figure! I'll always love her though no matter If we arent talking anymore. Hubby Is still unemployed ..UGHH Its been so frustrating seeing him try so hard and get nowhere!
Eventhough things have been so stressful we've managed to make this a very fun summer for Sage! Shes done alot of firsts this summer! Her first time fishing .. swimming In a lake .. Her first time playing monopoly! Shes learning how to swim and go underwater! Im so amazed at how fast shes grown just over this summer. The only thing we havent tackled Is her learning how to ride her bike because we've been doing so many other things. I feel very blessed to have such an amazing family and such Incredibly AMAZING friends!!!

The picture you see states " What would you attempt to do If you knew you couldnt Fail?" This qutoe/saying Intrigues me cause theres so much going on In my life right now. My Best Friend was In a head on collision over the past weekend. How she survived that crash I do not know... Angels watching over her?? A miracle?? I just dont know ... A little before that my Mother In Law fell down a flight of stairs and crashed through the banester. They are not sure whether she had a mild stroke or a mild heartattack .. How did she survive that fall??? Again .. Angels or just another Miracle. Now to find out that we have lost our fight to save my daughters school. I feel depleated , empty and worn out. I almost lost two people I love and now I AM losing something I love and that means the world to me. I thought that by fighting and getting support It would all be ok but I was wrong. Our support waned and even though our hope did not we lost. Now Im stuck having to rely on someone yet again for another MIRACLE!! How many of these Is one person allowed??? I feel as If Im being GREEDY If I dare to ask god for another miracle to save our school. So with just about a month of school left for us and these AMAZING kids Im praying and just enjoying and taking In every moment.. Im going to school for something I didnt even THINK about going to school for. It kinda fell Into my lap and now Im taking full advantage of It and Im going to take It as far as I can possiblily take It.. So theres alot of things In my life that Ive been through that I never thought I could handle. Im also taking on challenges that I never thought I could accomplish .. Its a very scary thing to be doing something you dont understand ,, trying to make It all make sense on top of running your normal life! I have so many things on my shoulders right now and at times I feel Im doing It all alone. But In the end I may be alone but Ill be stronger and better for It. So this quote has ALOT of meaning for me, cause you never know what you can handle , or what you can do Unless you try and dont think about the chance of failing!!!

Great food .. Great friends .. A glass of wine and marshmallows

You know how they say when It rains It pours. Well there right. This past two months has been really rough. Between fighting to save Sages school and my hubby losing his Job, I thought I was going crazy. Well If I wasnt then I sure am now. David found a lump by his scar where he had his last hernia operation. It looks like hes got another hernia and might need another surgery. Are you frickin KIDDING ME!! He just had a Job Interview this weekend and things were looking like they were about to turn a corner. This changes everything. Now who knows how hes going to recoup from this surgery, or If he'll be able to even go back to work again at all. Not to mention the fact that after his surgery , we'll lose his unemployment! To say that Im stressed Is an understatement.
On a good note, Ive been very blessed to have such amazing friends!! My girl Bridget has been nothing short of totally FABULOUS to our family. We went to school together along time ago and hadnt talked In years. Then just recently got back In touch and ever since shes been a light at the end of my tunnel. Between driving me places and helping me with food pantries. To just being a wonderful listner when Im really stressing out. Shes pregnant and Lil Aiden will be coming very soon and I cant wait to be able to hold him and return the favor by helping her watch him!! I dont know what Id do without her In my Life!! I just have to take everything day by day and keep my faith In my friends and God!!