Sometimes we do things In our life that we regret more than anything else. Sometimes these things are able to be righted and fixed and others not so much. Im very lucky to have that chance to right the wrongs and start anew!! I feel more then blesssed that I have the man I have and the Family and friends I have to support me along the way. They say you dont know what you have till you lost It .. well I almost lost the every thing that meant EVERYTHING to me. How things got so muddled ... how I got so lost Inside myself I'll never understand. I look back now and I dont know who that person was .. or how I even became her. What I do know Is I'll NEVER be her again!!! Ive gone back to my religion .. Im taking baby steps towards Baptisim. Its going to take awhile but now that I dont have this angry cloud hanging over me I feel more alive and more free than Ive ever felt before!!!! My husband Is the most AMAZING man ever!!! I am more .. BEYOND blessed to have him In my life and for us to be starting over again Is truly .. I know I keep saying It but ITs AMAZING. Somewhere along the line things got so messed up and I think I forgot why I married him .. but now I am more Inlove with him than I was the day I first laid eyes on him!! I feel more alive and whole and present than Ive EVER felt In my life. I was so angry before .. I carried such guilt and hatred towards myself that It eventually consumed me and I became lost In this Immense dark hole. It got so dark and so deep that I didnt even know who I was anymore and I didnt realize how much I had .. left this world. It was like I wasnt alive anymore .. I was so angry at myself that I took my anger out on everyone around me. I wasnt a good mother or wife but now ... thats all changed!! Im back and better than ever!! I have my God .. My husband .. my daughter and my family and friends. What more could I ask for!!!
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