New Year

So the first week of Sages new school Is over. Im soooo very proud of her. Shes making friends and adjusting so well. I kinda like the new school. Theres alot of good things about It but no matter what, It will never be Smith. The weather lately has been beyond gorgeous! Today we went up to the walkway to see a sunrise but all the clouds got In the way. I still was able to get some really nice pictures. Omg It was sooooooo cold up there!! Right now .. Im watching Dirty Dancing. I totally love this movie. Patrick was such an amazing actor. I looked at him during his cancer battle and he was so graceful and strong that I never thought hed die. It made me believe that If Patrick could make It ... I had nothing to worry about when It came to my brother. And then .. Patrick died and I remember this Intense feeling of fear overwhelm me. I kept sayin to myself .. If he couldnt make It hows my brother supposed to? Cancer Is this evil soul sucking disease. It sucks everything out of everyone .. not just the person whoes sick with cancer but there family and friends! It drains your hopes and your dreams ... It depletes your energy and your happiness. It also teaches you that your stronger then you ever thought and with faith you can overcome anything. My brother Is still here ..... but his health Is slowly going downhill. I watch him as he takes advantage of his life .. and his loved ones. He lives as If hes already dead .. not taking Into account that hes still ALIVE when many others have lost there battle. I wish that hed wake up and live each day to the fullest. To love everyone In his life ... to make sure hes the husband and friend hes supposed to be. Instead he pushes everyone away and treats them like garbage because In his mind ........ Its better that way. I'll never undertstand that .. but I love him and for that reason alone... Im still here.