End of Summer

So I just got Sages school list and Im soooo excited to go and get what she needs! Am I nuts?? I am actually excited about school shopping!! I also excited to see her grow even more and make new friends. Shes grown so much over the summer alone and shes turned Into such a amazing young lady I couldnt be more proud of her! This new school yrs going to bring alot of really cool new adventures and experiences for Sage! I dont think I'll be joining the PTA this year. Last year was totally amazing ... those woman are amazing and I learned so much I just dont know If I could start all over again. I feel like Id be replacing them and Smith school and thats just not even possible. But I did have alot of fun helping the school and helping doing things who knows!
In a couple of days we will be surprising Sage by taking her to the Dutchess County Fair!!! Even though money Is tight we havent taken her In 2 yrs. Shes been such a good girl this summer and I cant wait to see her face when we get close enough for her to realize were we are going!!! Im going to take alot of pictures that day. Speaking of pictures I cant seem to figure out how to post albums on here! Im still learning how to spiffy this thing up! Well I'll write more as more things pop up!

I seriously hate feeling like this. I feel like my heads going to explode with all the pressure from this dang head cold I got. Im watching this Intresting show about a group of kids who were really Into clothes and spending money. So they went to India to work In sweatshops to see where and how the clothes they loved to buy and wear .. were actually made. Its a very eye opening show to watch these kids realize that there clothes on there back came at a price for someone else to make them. This blog Is just going to be a mish mosh of stuff and thoughts .. nothing very fluid due to my brain not working very well lol. Ughh Its raining out today .. been raining all night and I think Its supposed to rain all week!! I hope not cause we are supposed to surprise Sage by taking her to the Fair this coming weekend. She has no Idea that we are going .. so I cant wait to see her face!! We havent gone In 2 yrs so I cant wait either .. School starts soon .. late but soon and Sage Is excited but nervous. Another new school this yr .. new kids ... new everything but shes a tough cookie and I know she'll be just fine!! O M G Everytime I try to breathe through my nose or blow It I get this IMMENSE pain In my head and the back of my eyes!! God this really sucks and this rain and gloomy weather Isnt helping any. Ok well I dont have much else to say lol so I'll try to write more another time. laters gaters!!!

New Beginnings

Sometimes we do things In our life that we regret more than anything else. Sometimes these things are able to be righted and fixed and others not so much. Im very lucky to have that chance to right the wrongs and start anew!! I feel more then blesssed that I have the man I have and the Family and friends I have to support me along the way. They say you dont know what you have till you lost It .. well I almost lost the every thing that meant EVERYTHING to me. How things got so muddled ... how I got so lost Inside myself I'll never understand. I look back now and I dont know who that person was .. or how I even became her. What I do know Is I'll NEVER be her again!!! Ive gone back to my religion .. Im taking baby steps towards Baptisim. Its going to take awhile but now that I dont have this angry cloud hanging over me I feel more alive and more free than Ive ever felt before!!!! My husband Is the most AMAZING man ever!!! I am more .. BEYOND blessed to have him In my life and for us to be starting over again Is truly .. I know I keep saying It but ITs AMAZING. Somewhere along the line things got so messed up and I think I forgot why I married him .. but now I am more Inlove with him than I was the day I first laid eyes on him!! I feel more alive and whole and present than Ive EVER felt In my life. I was so angry before .. I carried such guilt and hatred towards myself that It eventually consumed me and I became lost In this Immense dark hole. It got so dark and so deep that I didnt even know who I was anymore and I didnt realize how much I had .. left this world. It was like I wasnt alive anymore .. I was so angry at myself that I took my anger out on everyone around me. I wasnt a good mother or wife but now ... thats all changed!! Im back and better than ever!! I have my God .. My husband .. my daughter and my family and friends. What more could I ask for!!!