Omelette

This morning I made my very first Omelette!! Ive never made one before because I was AFRAID that I wouldnt be able to do it. My life for so long has been controlled by fear. Thats something that I have feverishly been working on. To not let fear hold me back anymore and to do things in my life .. no matter how big or small .. that I never would have before due to my fears. It is a very freeing feeling knowing that Im living MY life according to God and not letting anything stand in my way. Because by letting go of my fears Im putting my full trust and faith in him that he will pull me through whatever trial .. tribulation I will endure. I hate that I wasted so many years on pursuing the wrong things and letting myself get caught up inside my own heart. I let myself fall so deep into depression that I totally lost everything that made me special and unique! But now Ive got it back and NOTHING can take it away from me again!

Wow ... 2010 is over and 2011 is here! Just celebrated my 10 yr Anniversary and Im totally excited for whats to come this year!! Last year was very rough and I am sooo glad its over! 2011 is going to be amazing no matter what happens because I am in a totally different frame of mind! Im happier now than Ive ever been!! I feel like Ive opend up like a butterfly and now Im ready to fly!! This is going to be the year of opportunities! Im looking for a job .. I wanna get my camera fixed so I can start taking pictures again and framing them and maybe even selling them. Im working on my Spirituality and getting that in line. Following God and living my life for him makes me happy. I feel lighter doing what I know is right cause theres no guilt weighing me down! We are working on getting our financial situation on track as well. So far .. so good. We totally stick to the " if we dont have the cash we cant buy it " method!! Its not always easy but it really works. I know everything isnt always going to be a bed of roses but If you want to experience the beauty you have to take the thorns. Ill post more soon

These are just some pics I wanna share with the world!!

Brrrr

Holy moly batman It Is COLD out there!! So My husband found a Job (YAY). Im so happy and excited for him but I suddenly find myself feeling a bit like a empty nester. I knew that It would be an adjustment going from having him here for over 6 months 24/7 but ........ Im feeling very LOST! We did EVERYTHING together. Now Im mopping the floors and doing dishes and watching tv but things just feel weird! Am I the only one that feels like this or that has felt like this???

October 12 - 13 2010 will be two days I will never forget! In this world of unspeakable crime ... wars ... crazy weather happenings. There are very VERY few happy things on our news channels anymore. So to sit and watch The Chilean Miners be rescued .. one by one ... to sit there and see the smiles and tears of extreme JOY on the faces of there loved ones was truly amazing!! Last night .. as the last few miners were brought up. I brought Sage In to watch .. live on my computer. Now In her 8 yr old mind the ability to totally grasp the true Immense power of the miracle she was witnessing was a bit .. well ... lacking lol! But that there Is one of those amazing moments In life that we should all let our children experience! That lil bit of pure .. unedited Joy! This was no movie, this was no book or reality show. THIS was LIFE! It was a miracle .. how many of us can say that we have witnessed a real .. honest to goodness MIRACLE!!! The faith amongst those miners ... the Pride amongst there people who stood around the world and watched and prayed for there people. And the amazing selflessness of the Chilean President to stay there .. for those two days and greet each miner ... there families .. the rescuers was truly amazing! Most presidents would have done there "duty" .. toured the site, said a few words and been gone. Not him. He stayed .. and he didnt stay out of duty or because the world was watching and It would make him look good. He stayed because those were his people down there , and he loved each of them and he wasnt going to leave them until ALL were safe and home with there families. Theres alot to be said about a man like that!! I hope we all have just a piece of that Inside ourselves. I also hope that we pass that piece onto our children and cultivate that true kind of love and compassion that he showed. We were born onto this earth without sin .. to spread love and peace throughtout the land and because of sin theres awsome amounts of hatred Instead. Lets all practice spreading the love and compassion this world was meant to have and see.

This Is the love of my life .. my everyday Joy and the reason I wake up every morning! Words cannot express how much I love this blossoming young lady! Over the summer she has grown In leaps and bounds. She Is really becoming more of herself and It Is such an amazing journey to sit back and get lil glimpses Into the woman she'll someday be! So far her school year Is off to a great start! 100's across the board and yes I know Its only the second week of school BUT I am just that proud! Some parents want there kids to be doctors or something of that sort, but our philosophy has always been .. be who are are and do what makes your heart happy!! I believe If we all did that a lil more our lives would be so much more fulfilling.

So on the family front .. Over the weekend we surprised sage with a very early wake up call on Saturday morning to take her to The Walkway over the Hudson to see a beautiful sunrise. Well .. of course there was so much cloud coverage we really couldnt see much! But she had soooo much fun and It was FREEZING! I believe our kids dont get to see enough amazing things .. and there Is sooo much beauty In this world she should get to experience!!!! I'll admitt It .. even though some parents out there wouldnt dare. I am at fault for my daughter not getting out as much as she should! There I said It .. Its out there now! Somewhere along the line I let myself go ... I stopped living and enjoying my life which In turn affected Sage and she didnt get out to do and experience things! So Its been my goal and duty as a mom to 1. Keep promises when I make them. 2. Do something outside with her everyday. Even If Its just letting her play on her school playground for a half hour! Last but not least 3. Expose her to the beauty of this world! What does that mean?? Show your child a sunrise or sunset .. find something there passionate about and RUN WITH IT!! Sage loves photography .. so I give her my camera and let HER take the shots. Its amazing to see that shes REALLY good at takin photos!! Let your kids move at there pace ... not yours. I love sports and yeah I could have really pushed my love onto her , but I just never felt that was right. For many years she HATED sports .. but recently shes shown an Intrest In soccer!! So right now Im fostering her new love of Soccer .. we'll see where this goes.

Simply put live your life as If there was no tomorrow. Teach your kids to see there surroundings not just walk through It. Open there eyes to everything and stand back and let them choose the direction they'll go with It. Do NOT push your ideals and beliefs onto them. Let them see both sides and If your living by what your teaching and your truly happy they will WANT to live that way too!!!

New Year

So the first week of Sages new school Is over. Im soooo very proud of her. Shes making friends and adjusting so well. I kinda like the new school. Theres alot of good things about It but no matter what, It will never be Smith. The weather lately has been beyond gorgeous! Today we went up to the walkway to see a sunrise but all the clouds got In the way. I still was able to get some really nice pictures. Omg It was sooooooo cold up there!! Right now .. Im watching Dirty Dancing. I totally love this movie. Patrick was such an amazing actor. I looked at him during his cancer battle and he was so graceful and strong that I never thought hed die. It made me believe that If Patrick could make It ... I had nothing to worry about when It came to my brother. And then .. Patrick died and I remember this Intense feeling of fear overwhelm me. I kept sayin to myself .. If he couldnt make It hows my brother supposed to? Cancer Is this evil soul sucking disease. It sucks everything out of everyone .. not just the person whoes sick with cancer but there family and friends! It drains your hopes and your dreams ... It depletes your energy and your happiness. It also teaches you that your stronger then you ever thought and with faith you can overcome anything. My brother Is still here ..... but his health Is slowly going downhill. I watch him as he takes advantage of his life .. and his loved ones. He lives as If hes already dead .. not taking Into account that hes still ALIVE when many others have lost there battle. I wish that hed wake up and live each day to the fullest. To love everyone In his life ... to make sure hes the husband and friend hes supposed to be. Instead he pushes everyone away and treats them like garbage because In his mind ........ Its better that way. I'll never undertstand that .. but I love him and for that reason alone... Im still here.